yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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