My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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