So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
