The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
