Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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