mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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