it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He shit in the fireplace
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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