Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this just has baby written all over it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize