There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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