every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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