She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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