...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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