Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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