i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
