You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
porn star boner night. come get it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
