I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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