Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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