Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
