one might say we're banned from that church
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
