____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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