Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
