She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
