Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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