I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
