Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
