I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
