Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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