shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
