My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
