it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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