i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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