I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
