But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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