Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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