Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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