Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
