He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
