I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
