I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
