maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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