Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
