Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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