It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
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