I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
