Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
