That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
