My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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