i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
