You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
nutella sex= disaster
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
