apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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