I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
