I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
