Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
