Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
