Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
