Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
