if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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