I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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