just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
