just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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