There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
